dear miss moneekuh...

incase you couldnt tell, this one's for you, darling.
so i was just going along my normal nightly routine of avoiding homework at all costs, and then i decided to check your blog. and youve posted. and ben (im assuming its my [but not anymore?] ben)...and i cant read your blog anymore. i frickin just read about him dancing, and color coordinating even, and i feel like i might puke. ugh. i thought i was ok. but i guess i am more capable of biting jealousy than i thought?

thats all.
im sorry, i just cant get the images out of my head and theyre killing me. what if he starts dating someone soon? i danced with him a lot, so can he just dance without even a passing thought about all the dancing we did together? i frickin taught him how to match an outfit to a girl! what girl is he matching? he introduced me to sufjan, and we listened to it the whole way to his family reunion in tenessee. did he think about that? and it absolutely kills me to realize...probably not. because he decided, and thats it. and i guess he can shut the door that quickly.

im a mess. im so sorry.